I’m acquiring pieces of a relationship. One by one. Slowly, over the years, the separate aspects make up the whole. Never all at once. And getting hold of that one piece is like climbing a vertical rock wall. You just jump up and reach out for whatever elated feeling you are hoping to get. You look for outstanding protrusions, something you can hold on to. Often, you fall flat on your face, and people think…
Doesn’t matter what people think. One person matters only. It’s just that the conglomeration of my wishes into just one person seems to be out of reach, inhabiting a far-flung galaxy, too far for me to find. Perhaps the trick is to stop searching, stop climbing, stop waiting. Murphy’s Law. Perhaps.
Words stumble on their way out
never quite making it, held back by
emotional stiffness ——-
cadaverousness caused by responses
given only to chill
the blood in your veins into ice cubes
preventing further blood flow.
Logic takes over sentiments
and the heart is further encrusted with
unenviable crystals of indifference.
Sleep – the sole saviour – continuously fails to satisfy.
Reality gets in the way, holding the door forever open.
The draught thus created is uncomfortable and
ambivalent in its purpose.
Put up to your eye
a magnifying glass.
Clarify the world outside,
quarantine your inner morass.
Set foot outside your door
let sunlight embrace you.
Discard your astringency to the core.
Let harmony abound.
Your soul forever on a precipice,
wavering from darkness to light
and back again once more with caprice,
never getting quite right
the basic facts of life.
Playing with others’ hearts
with pure, malignant delight
plunging them into maelstrom nights.
Shed your venomous skin,
your ignorance of pleasant affairs;
Slow down your hypnotic spin,
never mind the amused stares.
Show the world
the shining star
the king of the absurd
that you so colossally are.